I’m not BRAVE

People often thought of me as being brave and mature for defending him and being there for him.

in fact, I’m terrified.

I’m terrified that all the feelings I buried ten feet under will come back to life and what will happen to us after it.

frankly, I don’t want to go back.

i don’t want to deal with the pain, the doubts and the insecurities that love can inplant into you until you finally destroyed yourself.

I destroyed myself

I can’t deal with that again.

I might be strong enough to stand by him but I refuse to go through the painful cycle.

I can’t wait to finally be courageous enough to let go of all the fears that he caused and finally fall in love again.

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