People often thought of me as being brave and mature for defending him and being there for him.
in fact, I’m terrified.
I’m terrified that all the feelings I buried ten feet under will come back to life and what will happen to us after it.
frankly, I don’t want to go back.
i don’t want to deal with the pain, the doubts and the insecurities that love can inplant into you until you finally destroyed yourself.
I destroyed myself
I can’t deal with that again.
I might be strong enough to stand by him but I refuse to go through the painful cycle.
I can’t wait to finally be courageous enough to let go of all the fears that he caused and finally fall in love again.